Ho ho ho divas, it’s the festive season and the biggest ho(e) of them all, Cheryl Hole, is back to sprinkle festive wisdom, joy and mediocre mince pies your way. I’m here to help you make all the best decisions and get your name on the nice list this year. Or the naughty one, if you’re that way inclined. If you want me to answer any of your burning questions, you can submit them to firstname.lastname@example.org. Here we go!
This Christmas, I will be staying at my boyfriend’s parent’s house for the first time. Now seeing as I’m in a new relationship, I can’t keep my hands off him and want to make sure we get plenty of nookie over the festive period without the rents walking in on us. Have you any tips on how to get away with it?
My dearest Matt, now I know the feeling… trust me. The first Christmas I spent with my husband, we were with his parents and I didn’t know what to do. My advice to you would be is if the bed is creaky, DON’T GO NEAR IT! Bend them over standing up, or even better, bend them over and have them holding the door closed — that way the parents can’t just walk in. Hope this helps my love!
My favourite Quality Streets are those purple ones with the hazelnut and caramel in, but those awful green triangles are always leftover. Are you at all good in the kitchen, and do you have any ideas on what we could do with them?
I cannot cook to save my life! However, I asked Haydn — my husband — as he’s like Gordon Ramsay in the kitchen. He said to cut them all up into little pieces and put them in either a cookie or cupcake mix, and get baking!
I’m sure you’ll relate to this — my girlfriend has everything and she’s the worst person to buy for at any time of year. What special Christmas gift would you suggest?
Oh Poppy, I can relate as I always buy the bits I want and get moaned at for saying I don’t want anything. My advice would be to get her something she can’t just buy, something like going to the theatre or a little spa break. That way you are treating her but also doing something together to keep your relationship blossoming.
It’s the works Christmas party in two weeks time and I really fancy my boss. I was considering taking some mistletoe with me to give him a snog , just in case the opportunity arises. He’s really flirty with me, so I think have a chance. What do you think?
Oooh Robert, now this is a tricky one as they do say don’t shit where you eat. I’m not going to lie to you — it is risky as if it goes tits up then it could affect your job. But, if he is very flirty then it could be worth a go! My question would be is he on any dating apps? You could maybe message him on there first — ‘as a joke’ of course —to see how the conversation goes then see what happens that way? Your way does sound like a total Christmas movie though!
The work Secret Santa has been drawn and I’ve got the one person I can’t stand — someone who’s not been a great colleague. Do I kill them with kindness and get something tasteful, or potentially buy something from Prowler or Clonezone that’s going to embarrass the hell out of ‘em?
Now Pete, the tricky thing here is, depending on what you buy from either Clonezone or Prowler, he may actually really enjoy it as you never know what they’re into in the bedroom. My advice would be to buy a Lynx Africa set. EVERYONE knows that’s the worst present you can get anyone!
Hey lovely Cheryl,
I’ll be doing a Christmas movie marathon all December, which Christmas films are your favourite and do you recommend?
Now I love a Christmas movie, Rich. My favourite ones are The Holiday and Love Actually, but who doesn’t love Elf and the Santa Claus movies (the best one is number two!) Now there are a couple of debates — is The Nightmare Before Christmas a Christmas or a Halloween film, and depending on if you like action movies, is Die Hard a Christmas movie? Who knows the answers, Rich? Not me!
Christmas Eve is one of my favourite nights of the year. Do you have any Christmas Eve traditions and any ideas on how to make it extra special for me and my boyfriend?
Oh, I totally agree with you Timmy! The thing I love about Christmas Eve is seeing the tree up with the presents underneath and just relaxing on the sofa. So normally, me and my husband have a picky dinner on Christmas Eve, something that’s easy so we don’t really have to be in the kitchen too long. We then will be watching either a movie or a Christmas show on TV with a glass of Bailey’s. To me, that sounds perfect!
Wham and Last Christmas is my absolute FAVE Christmas song. I’m putting together a playlist for Christmas day, have you any picks you think I should add?
Yes, Ben! I love a bit of Wham. Now, you have to have the queen of Christmas herself in this playlist, Ms Mariah Carey. I do love a bit of East 17 too, but my diva, do not forget that the Cheeky Girls had their Christmas album as well!
All my love & Merry Christmas
Don’t forget to catch our Cheryl on Boxing Day taking over Gaydio for BOXING DAY DRAG SLAY!!