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Wednesday, May 29, 2024

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TOPHER TALKS: World Anal Day!

Happy April! Some acknowledge this month for Spring, some for Easter, some for Aries and Taurus season… but did you also know that April hosts a very important holiday (in my mind, anyway): WORLD ANAL DAY, which lands on April 18th. Talk about a mid-month treat right?

Time to jump from Easter Eggs to Love Eggs. Or dildos, dicks, plugs, XXL ass-destroyers, etc. Whatever floats your booty-boat. I know you are probably thinking “Topher, take a fucking day off from talking about anal!” but no – its my job.

So, for this month’s column I wanted to address anal play for beginners, intermediates, for vers-curious-tops, and those who have tried it; either unsuccessfully or found it painful/ uncomfortable and decided that itwasnotforthem.Iamsuchabit believer in ‘trying again’ with anal, as every-single-time that I have spoken to someone who has tried it and disliked it – it has been because they were not relaxed, were not prepared adequately, had not anal douched (see last month’s column – or read my VERY detailed free douching guide only website), or just were not sexually compatible with their partner.

I am not a huge fan of throwing statistics around, as I find with sexuality that everyone’s personal experience is relevant to them and to their preferences. BUT there are some statistics with anal that I think are worth addressing Mainly, to acknowledge that LOTS of people do it (or want to) and LOTS of people find it very pleasurable.

Did you know that roughly 34% of adults have had anal sex of some sort? And this is just the number that admit it. And in a growingly puritanical culture, a world full
of ‘discreet’ players, and a huge number of people who feel shame for having anal– we know this number is much higher. The reason this statistic is important, is that it highlights that people do want to try butt stuff – and they are!

From surveys taken in the USA, 72.6% of people with prostates, orgasm often or ALWAYS with anal sex. This is around 52.3% for people with vulvas. These are some hefty numbers, and they stand testament to the fact that not only is anal fun, intimate, and great way to bond with someone – they show that it feels great and helps us reach orgasm in a unique and intensely satisfying way. Anyone who’s orgasm’ d from their penis or clitoris, whilst enjoying anal will know what I am talking about. These statistics also show that you do not need a prostate or anal to feel fabulous.

From someone who is first experience with anal play was with fingers and then a penis, let me tell you that this was not the best way for ME to begin my journey. I did not enjoy anal until I was around 24-years-old. When in fact, it turned out I just was not sexually compatible with my partner (the only one I had had sex with, at that stage).

Some are lucky and enjoy it from the get-go, but many do not and its usually due to the ‘shock’ to the system. Anal can feel painful if you are not preparing or doing it properly.

So, I wanted to give 5 tips to you:

1. Begin with small sex toys.

I think that introducing small anal toys is the best way to begin. And SMALL toys. I always recommend almost patronising yourself with how small something is. A small butt-plug will do just fine.

2. Anal training

As above, begin with the small plug, use it regularly and eventually begin to move it around, thrust it, ‘kneel’ on it and rock, etc. THEN move up to the next size and again, give it the time and focus it needs until it feels totally comfy. Repeat until the sensations feel relaxed. You can get anal-training-butt-plug- kits from most sex shops. And eventually, wear before anal sex to relax yourself prior to play.

3. Douche with warm water

This is a great way to relax those tender internal spots and help to relax muscles.

4. Communication & Compatibility

Here is a double-C that’s more important than Chanel. When you eventually have anal with a partner, make them aware of your newbie or re-entry status. It’s so important to try new things with someone who not ONLY makes you aroused, but makes you feel comfortable and sexy. Do not settle on anything less.

5. Do not depend on ‘extras’

Yes, I know that many people use recreational items and poppers to relax themselves. Whilst this is a personal lifestyle choice, its not something I recommend. You should never need to ‘distract from’ or ‘numb’ any sensations. You need to know how it feels for multiple reasons.

Find my detailed Anal Guide for Beginners and Douching Guide for Beginners at TopherTaylor.co.uk

Instagram @TopherTaylor Twitter @HelloIamTopher

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