One of the things I was very conscious of when launching this column was not to make it a narcissistic diary. I’m not expecting people on the scene to care about what I’ve been up to. But, on the flip side, I am not expecting people on the scene to know who I am, my
context, or why I may be worth listening to. ‘Sex Educator’ sounds so vague. I’m always asked “What does it mean??”– so here is a slice of my life.
The past few weeks I’ve had have been chaotic and my feet have barely touched the ground. I wanted to take this opportunity to give you a little window into my world so we can get to know each other a little better. Working in sex education highlights the importance of communication, and the more that people know about select details of
my private life, I find that they’re more comfortable opening up to me. Which helps me do my job even better.
I ended January filming a documentary for Channel 5, all about sex toys, its climax being a ‘Sex Tech’ event I threw in our flagship Clonezone shop in London’s Soho. For a few days I had a documentary film crew in my face, filming my every move – and dissecting me as I discussed the process of sex toy testing and development. It highlighted to me just how desensitised I had become to the shocking nature of sex and that people still find it so shocking that someone could look them in the eye and say “I’m not ashamed of being paid to have orgasms”. I feel like, very much in the vein of my January column, where I discuss how limited queer people are when it comes to being ‘allowed’ to express their sexuality –there are so many limits on what someone like me is allowed to express without fear of a huge backlash.
Throughout filming, I paid close attention to the facial expressions of the crew as I spoke about using toys, having sex, and my general experiences. It was a reality
check for me and reminded me of how archaic people can be with sex. Unless it’s wrapped in a Carry O’-style “oooo-er!”. The documentary is due to hit screens this Summer, so I’ll keep you updated. But, if it’s anything like the little mini-doc I did for Channel 4 during
lockdown… I am about to be torn to shreds. Good. Straight after, I flew to Mexico for
a couple of weeks of sun, margaritas, and the best food in the world. Mexico is such a stunning place with such a fascinating history; the most wonderful people in the world, and
it gave me the perfect time to reflect post-filming and really think about work and life.
I’m not always great with having lots of time to think, as I really love working and love
being stimulated – but this time was different. My man was back in London due to work commitments, and this little bit of distance and ‘mystery’ really was refreshing, as we are very interdependent and both of us struggle to function without being by the other one’s side. It’s one of those relationships where you feel so profoundly connected that you feel
like an extension of one another. It’s funny that I landed in a relationship like this, as the media convinced me that there just wasn’t a love like this out there for LGBTQIA+ people.
But as in typical ‘me’ style, I was brought back down to earth at rapid speed when I got refused entry to my layover flight to Dallas from Merida, Yucatan. I didn’t have a VISA to be in an American airport for 100 minutes. I wasn’t even going to leave the airport, just move from one gate to the next, but I still needed an ESTA Visa document. I find that ridiculous and no one will convince me otherwise.
So, I had to get new flights and completely miss the self-pleasure event I’d spent weeks planning by 24 hours in the UK. And my journey home took 27 hours – including 10 hours sat in Cancun airport (in which I got into an argument with a Trump supporter in Starbucks, but I’ll spare you the details).
But one good thing came out of this, it forced me to launch a FREE Only Fans where I plan to do the talks digitally, on a platform where the videos won’t get pulled due to content of an adult nature. I’ve been dedicating lots of time to that – launching with a detailed guide to my favourite anal douche. Keeping it classy, as always.
And speaking of Only Fans, I’ve also just been nominated for a Grabbys Gay Porn award in April. My sexual fantasy alter ego ‘Str8BoyToy’ has been quite successful recently and has been recognised in the ‘Best Content Creator’ category.
Never a dull moment.