I’m going to be a total self-analytical slut in 2025. I’ll get to the semantics
of that shortly in this column. I fucking LOVE a New Year, I really do. It feels like a reset, in a way. A marker between the fun of Christmas and the pain of tax return season. I’ve always been a fan of using a new year as a marker for change, advancement, and personal improvements.
Sounds like such corny bullshit, doesn’t it? I honestly do appreciate that this can put unnecessary pressure on some people, especially those who are prone to comparing themselves to others. I have trained myself out of doing that, thankfully. I refuse to let comparison with others thieve my joy.
Instead, I compare myself to who I was a year ago. I use self-analysis
to map out my professional goals for the next 365 days. I become my own competition, in a way, and it’s always been quite a healthy approach for me. It’s certainly encouraged some of my better behaviour, contributed to success, and helped me get out of my own way (something I’ve struggled with since my early 20s). For example, if I notice that I failed or didn’t work hard enough in a certain area, or let something trivial delay or distract me, I use it as a lesson going forward. I work to remove that distraction (usually a man), break that behavioural pattern (like not getting out of bed on time), and address that failure (often a situation where I let my internal ‘cringe factor’ sabotage me). I suggest that you should try and do this, too. It can be brutal but some of the best ways to improve your life, is to really hold that HD mirror up to yourself and take it all in. The good, the bad, and the butt ugly. It can feel really uncomfortable at first, but you’d be surprised by how many patterns in your behaviour emerge when you lay it all out and start comparing. I promise you that the insights you’ll gain are worth it.
I was on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster throughout 2024, but it’s the first year I didn’t let personal issues interfere with my career. The career I’ve worked so hard for and care deeply about. In the past, I’d let drama pull my focus, which only made things worse. Ultimately, this would leave me even more upset, as parts of my career would falter, my freelance income would drop, and I’d feel more stressed trying to catch up afterward. That’s not even taking the missed opportunities into consideration. I was the kind of person who’d sit in my drama and almost fetishise it.
But in 2024, I refused. I faced family loss, the final removal of a very toxic man from my life, personal challenges, some legal woes, and even a stalking situation. Despite it all, I kept my focus, knowing that staying on track would make me happier in the long run. And it did.
But here’s the thing and the part where I’ve got it wrong in the past: time and patience. This shift didn’t happen overnight. It took practice, self-reflection, and a motivated decision to finally stop letting external chaos dictate my internal state and create more static within my brain. One of the biggest lessons I learned is that discipline is so much more important than motivation. Motivation is fleeting, but discipline keeps you going when things get tough.
I also (finally) learned the importance of boundaries. Something which has been an issue since I was a teenager. Whether it’s with men, friends, work, or even with myself, setting clear boundaries (and really sticking to them, however uncomfortable) has been a game- changer for me. Toxic situations have a way of creeping back in if you don’t actively shut the door on them – and put a bolt on that fucking door! That’s why I’ve become insatiable about identifying what isn’t serving me and cutting it out of my life. For good.
As I move into 2025, I am going to focus on continuing this momentum. I’m setting ambitious goals for myself but I’m also giving myself permission to rest when I need it. I am prone to burnout, due to my ‘be strong’ working style. Burnout isn’t a badge of honour, and taking care of myself is more important as ticking off my to-do list.
So, you’re reading this and feeling overwhelmed about the new year, here’s my advice: don’t try to change everything at once. Pick one area
of your life to focus on, be honest about what’s holding you back, and then commit to small and consistent changes. And celebrate each time you succeed with change. And,
yes, every-single-time, even if it’s with an orgasm or a chocolate bar. Growth doesn’t have to be a dramatic transformation for everyone. Growth is actually the result of tiny, deliberate steps taken every day.
