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Sunday, June 16, 2024

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TOPHER TALKS: HEAD in the right direction

I’m someone who gets approached a lot by ‘newbies’ to sex. People who have fantasies about exploring sexually, but perhaps haven’t had the chance or the confidence to take the first steps yet. I am always asked “How do I give a good blowjob?” and the answer isn’t simple as good head comes in a lot of forms and includes a mix of.

So, I wanted to write about giving good head, this month. A basic guide for beginners. Think of it as your starting point, a blueprint to build upon. The key to enjoying these experiences with your partner? Communication. Ask what they like, learn from your experiences, and yes, I repeat it often: communicate.

Before I start, and you get those lovely willies in your mouth – let me clarify that this guide discusses giving oral sex without a condom. Which is my preferred way to do it. Therefore, trust and communication are crucial. Try and be as comfortable discussing sexual health as openly as you discuss your likes and dislikes.

And, if you ARE using a condom, follow the same tips but adjust for more pressure, suction, and keep those teeth out of the way.

Now, onto my style of head – focused on delivering pleasure and showcasing skill. It’s about pleasing. Because I love doing it. Introduction:
Forget seeing blowjobs as mere foreplay; they’re an act to relish, just as satisfying as penetrative sex. Oral sex is intimate, using lips, tongue, saliva, and teeth (where appropriate) to deliver pleasure. It’s about control, technique, and yes, practice.

Preparation:

– Arousal is important. Allow yourself to get excited too.
– Clear your nasal passage; no one wants a runny nose mid-blowjob.
– Relax your jaw; practice circular motions to adjust.
– Check for any rough edges or shap bits on your hands, lips, and nails.
– Stay hydrated; a moist mouth is essential.
– Most importantly, communicate with your partner about desires and boundaries.

Things to Consider:

Jaw & Teeth: Getting comfortable with a penis in your mouth takes practice. Experiment with objects
to simulate the experience, and be mindful of your teeth, especially if you have ‘fangs’ like mine.

Gag Reflex: Practice makes
perfect and is the only way to help desensitise your reflex. Focus on breathing techniques and gradual exposure to objects in your mouth – wide and long.

Deepthroat: Techniques like using fingers to relax your throat muscles and controlling your breath can aid in deepthroating.

Sloppy: Spit is your sworn ALLY in delivering pleasure, trust me. If you run out of spit, trigger extra saliva production by gagging.

Hygiene: Clear communication about hygiene is vital for everyone’s enjoyment. Address any concerns openly and consider suggesting a shower together if needed. Communication: My favourite word with sex. Ask them what they enjoy and be clear about your own preferences and boundaries. Both of you should enjoy it. Don’t forget that.

Taste: Adapting to the taste of sperm can take time. You can always consider bringing a flavoured lube into the mix, but the more you do it – the more you’ll get used to it. Some people love the taste – I don’t.

Just Breathe: Having a clear (or as clear as it can be) airflow is vital during giving head. Practice breathing though your voice and/or timing breaths during strokes – around and over/under the penis.

Cum: Head doesn’t always have to have a conclusion and ejaculation isn’t the sole goal for everyone. If you don’t want them to cum in your mouth – tell them.

Go-To Moves: When giving head, remember what makes a penis orgasm. Grip, strokes, moisture, and the sensation of ‘sex’. So sumptuous, curling, hugging grips that are nice and wet. Remember, mother nature designed a penis to orgasm from penetrative sex – so turn your mouth- and-hands into an orgasm device.

Love it: One of the best ways to give great head is to enjoy doing it. Allow yourself to love everything about it, and their body, and the experience will be elevated – I assure you.
Watch: Pay attention to how they react to certain moves, motions, pressure, and use this as your guide.

Top tip: To see how your partner(s) like their penis handled, watch them wank. Look at where they grip, how they hold, the pressure the use, and how they interact with the frenulum – the back of the dickhead. This is the most sensitive spot and noting how they behave with their own can give you a great blueprint for amazing oral. Bring these observed notes into your head game and they’ll feel like you’ve read their mind.

Conclusion: Remember, there’s no pressure to master everything at once. Enjoy the learning process and learn with your partners. Sex should always be fun and fulfilling for everyone involved – unless you’re in a consensual roleplay where one partner is being solely pleased.

If you need further guidance or have questions, feel free to email me:topher@tophertaylor.co.uk
Follow my TikTok @TopherTaylor, Instagram @TopherTaylor
or X @HelloIamTopher for more.

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