Panto’s back and it’s GAYER than ever with Jack and the Beanstalk, WHAT A WHOPPER!

And if there’s one authority on the bawdy art form, it’s the theatre company He’s Behind You!, which specialises in ridiculously gay and family-unfriendly reimaginings of classic stories.

After the success of Sleeping Beauty Takes a Prick last year, the team have selflessly spent their summer penning gags and songs for this year’s production — Jack and the Beanstalk: What a Whopper! We caught up with four performers

in this year’s show — Matthew Baldwin, Keanu Adolphus Johnson, Chris Lane and Jordan Stamatiadis — to see how they’re getting ready for the festive run of shows.

How excited are you to get started with Jack and the Beanstalk?

MATTHEW: I’m extremely excited about Jack and even more excited about the beanstalk.

CHRIS: I love spending weeks in hysterics with brilliant people in the rehearsal room so I’m like a greyhound at the races, desperate to get after that bunny!

Without giving too much away, how will this differ from performances of Jack and the Beanstalk that readers might have seen before?

C: They may have seen brilliant choreography, magical sets and a panto cow. We have all that with the glorious addition of smut.

JORDAN: I think it’s safe to say that there will be a character called Jack and there will be a beanstalk, but everything else is up for grabs. The writers have outdone themselves with hilarious subplots.

M: I will be entirely nude including a routine involving me, the beanstalk and a barrel of peanut butter (crunchy). However, they can expect all the romance, silliness, rudeness and inclusivity that is at the heart of every show we do.

Were any of you involved with last year’s show? If so, what was your highlight?

KEANU: No but in 2021 I was in Dick Whittington: A New Dick InTown by the same writers and director. That was a blast. A highlight was getting a ‘success nod’ from Sir Ian McKellen.

C: Last year I played the villain and a highlight was doing a brief scene with Joan Collins. Pre-recorded on her part, of course — there’s only room for one dame on stage!

J: I was the fairy. The highlight was seeing how happy people were walking out of the theatre. It’s lovely knowing you’ve made people feel good. Oh, and when Matt took a baby doll off of his fake boob and sprayed the front row with breastmilk — I loved that. M: The highlight is the audience. They make the show work and we love them with all our hearts.

Do any of you have fond memories of going to the panto as a kid?

J: I’m from Australia and I’d never seen one before getting cast in Sleeping Beauty Takes A Prick last year, so I probably have a warped understanding of what a ‘normal’ panto is!

K: Unfortunately not, so I’m making the most of it now! M: I saw Barbara Windsor as Prince Charming in Cinderella in Northampton. It was magical. Panto
is magical. As an adult, I saw McKellen do Twanky at the Old Vic. These aren’t just fond memories — they’re theatrical highlights.

C: My first live performance was a panto my auntie took me to in Bury and I’d like to say it ignited my passion for theatre. It didn’t, it was pretty naff, but it was gorgeous, lively and bright.

Will crowds get a different performance if they go in November rather than January?

K: Come in both months! We’re bound to discover new golden nuggets along the way.

M: They could get a different show every night. The audiences are all different and we have to be 100% on our game, making sure we always end up with a kiss and a song.

What makes the perfect panto?

M: The same things that make life worth living: an open mind, music, laughter, romance, friends and a giant beanstalk.

C: Christmas can be wonderful or tough, depending on your circumstances, and the perfect panto makes you forget all that. Everyone comes together, audience and cast, in the spirit of having a brilliant time. Madonna famously said from her bath during the height of the pandemic “panto is the great equaliser” — she wasn’t wrong.

K: An engaging narrative, loads of laughter, great costumes and props, and earworm songs.

J: Some loser actor who gets conned into wearing an animal suit (me, last year, as the horse. It was voted best bit).