Oh hey there Divas! Your fave Essex queen is back on the back page of GLL to offer a helping hand with all your problems. Who knew that Londoners had so many issues?
Dear Ms Hole,
My boyfriend recently got a mullet and I…don’t like it. Like I really don’t like it. He used to have gorgeous hair like Timothee Chalamet and now he just looks a bit odd. When he asks me what I think, I try to be as vague as possible, but do you think I can tell him how I really feel about it?
Marky baby. Relationships are based on honesty and respect, and I’m sure you’d want the truth if you asked him for an opinion. As much as we don’t want to upset our partners, you shouldn’t be vague, so just say that you miss the hair. Always finish a comment with a positive, so say that they are still gorgeous. If not, maybe buy them a lovely wig.
I’ve recently moved into a flat with two friends. They’re both great to live with, except for one thing – they have a lot of nighttime visitors, if you catch my drift. That’s not a problem in itself, but they’re both quite vocal and the walls are quite thin, meaning it can often be hard to get to sleep. Plus, I find it hard to look them in the eye at breakfast the next morning. How can I ask them politely to keep the noise down?
In the words of Cat Deeley, just tell them to FUCKING SHUT UP! I joke, but it’s all about how you approach them to say it. You don’t want to go in abrasive and back them against a wall – unless they’re into it. But it’s definitely a conversation you need to have. You’re paying the exact same rent and not getting the full home experience. You have to be honest and just ask them to be a little less vocal, maybe look into a soundproofing panel on the doors. If not, just get revenge and shag someone really loud. They may get the hint…or just join in!
My BFF has just started doing drag and having practiced loads during lockdowns, they look fierce. However, they’ve since started getting a few gigs and when she gets on stage, she just seems to freeze a bit. She can normally make me crack up laughing but when she’s performing, it’s not the same. Have you got any stage fright tips or ways to act natural?
Hey Remi, we’ve all been there as drag artists when the nerves possess your body and it’s completely normal. I still get nervous after all these years! Sometimes it’s just small things that make the difference, whether it’s knowing your performance so well that you can do it in your sleep, having people you know in the audience for support or sometimes a little go-go fuel from the bar to relax you. They’re still relatively new to drag so it’s just finding their feet on the stage and the rest will fall into place.
A bit of an intimate one now. I’ve been with my boyfriend for five years now and I love him to bits. However, this year our sex life has hit a rough patch. Basically, we don’t do it anymore. I try and get him interested, but he always has an excuse. He still makes me laugh and we do everything together, but I just want to be shagged like I was when we were newly dating! How can I get the passion flowing again?
Hello, my diva! This is something that happens and it’s nothing to worry about. It’s just finding something to get the fire burning again. Whether it’s sending him a cheeky picture while he’s out, a little toy from a shop to make things different or just a very romantic evening with some massage oils, candles and sexy music. If in doubt, just get them drunk and bend over!
I’ve got a friend I’ve had since university. We’ve always had different views on things, but it’s been fine if we just avoid certain topics. That’s becoming harder to do in the past year as he’s making a name for himself on social media as somebody a bit controversial and unpleasant. He keeps messaging asking us to go out, but if I’m to be a bit honest, I don’t want to be seen in public with him. Do you think I can keep up the friendship or should I let it die?
Pete, Elephant & Castle
Hi Pete, this is a tough one. It does really come down to the views that he’s putting out into the world. If it’s his opinions on stuff like Strictly or stuff like that, I’m sure you can let it slide but if it’s stuff that’s a bit more controversial, maybe it’s best to take a step back. If the thoughts are already there, you may have already made your mind up. I always believe in surrounding yourself with like-minded divalinas. Positivity and party vibes only!
Make sure you keep your eyes peeled for next month’s dilemmas, right here. You can also follow Cheryl on insta @cherylholequeen and of course email your dillemas to firstname.lastname@example.org if you’d like to be featured.