Let’s get one thing straight — or actually, let’s not. Because nothing last Pride Month has felt remarkably straight-forward, especially not for the lesbians.
If Summer 2024 gave us the Lesbian Renaissance, 2025 feels more like the sapphic slump. And before the bisexuals start sharpening their pitchforks — let’s talk.
Last year, being a lesbian was trending (finally). We were everywhere. Mascs in M&S, femmes on red carpets, and a joyful, unapologetic energy in the air that felt like “maybe this time… we’re not a sub plot”. Fast-forward twelve months and suddenly, JoJo Siwa’s dumped her GF for Chris Hughes, Fletcher’s soft-launching ‘Boy’ merch, and Billie Eilish is publicly snogging someone with a beard.
No shame, no shade, just confusion. And maybe if we’re honest, a tiny splash of heartbreak.
These aren’t just any celebrities, they’ve all been ours. Sapphic icons, queer-girl crushes, the kind of women who helped young queers feel seen, hot, and maybe even hopeful. For the baby gays, the dykes in dungarees, the emotionally overwhelmed femmes who cried at “The L Word”, these women were something sacred. They were proof that we existed in culture, not just on Pornhub. This was one of the first time’s in history where we could take a breath because real representation had arrived.
So what the hell happened?
First off, let me be really clear: women are allowed to date men. Yes, even hot queer women. Yes, even the ones we projected our entire identity onto. Bisexuality is real, it’s beautiful, and it doesn’t owe us a fixed orientation for our comfort. But…
There’s a cultural tension here that has me concerned because, whilst I won’t take away the authenticity of someone’s choice, it’s hard not to see this as a pattern. A shift. A pulling back of power. It’s strikingly obvious that the world is more comfortable with sapphic women when we’re still at least a little bit “available” to the male gaze.
We’ve seen this pattern in the media before. Lesbian visibility rises, the world panics and suddenly bisexuality is having a moment. One clear example is the early 2000s, especially around the post L Word era and the rise of girl-on-girl performative bisexuality in pop culture. I really thought that by 2025 people would have got a grip? And this is why the lesbian community are feeling frankly, pissed off.
JoJo Siwa, who I fully support in exploring her sexuality like any young queer person should, has (maybe without meaning to) given straight men fuel for one of their favourite tropes: that lesbians just haven’t found the right man yet. It reinforces the tired, damaging idea that relationships between women aren’t real or serious but instead are just a phase, or something to be fixed.
Billie Eilish drops Guess with Charli XCX, gives us one of the most electric Chicken Shop Date episodes ever, queer girls everywhere start spiraling (understandably)… and then it turns out she’s secretly dating a guy. And please don’t get it twisted, this is no shade to Billie exploring her identity in her own time, that’s her right. But what happens culturally is this: straight men feel vindicated, lesbians feel baited, and the media gets to enjoy the optics of queerness without the “threat” of actual lesbian commitment.
Then we have the Fletcher, ‘Boy’ merchandise, PR fumble fiasco and honestly I don’t have enough space on the page to get into what went so wrong there. Just know that erasing your lesbian leaning, sapphic history and launching ‘Boy’ merch during Pride month is just so not cool.
It’s not about who any of these women dates. It’s about how often queer-coded women are lifted up, only to reinforce the same old narrative: women loving women? Just for fun. Just for aesthetics. Just ‘until a man comes along’.
Of course, maybe this isn’t a conspiracy. Maybe we’re just seeing bisexuality finally represented in all its glory. Bisexuals have just the same horrible, misogynistic battles and troubles that any other part of the acronym has. Maybe it’s not the loss of lesbians, but the broadening of the queer landscape. And maybe that’s a good thing? Still, it stings.
For every young dyke who saw herself in Billie’s oversized tees, in JoJo’s fearless glitter, in Fletcher’s pining voice, this Pride Month feels a little bit lonelier. A little more like we’re back to explaining who we are.
We need lesbian visibility now more than ever. We need stories that don’t end in a boyfriend reveal. We need TV shows without the token bi-curious subplot. We need artists who say “I’m gay” and mean it. We need the new season of ‘I Kissed a Girl’ to land on our TV screens sharpish!
So here’s to the dykes. The stubborn ones. The ones who are still here, still loud, still loving women like it’s revolutionary, because it is. Lesbian isn’t a trend, it’s a truth. And no matter who’s trending next, we’re not going anywhere.
From your lesbian Big Sister, I see you. Happy Pride.
