Hello Divas! it’s your favourite mediocre queen here, answering your dilemmas. It’s been a whirlwind of a July with travel all over the globe, but don’t worry, I am back and ready to hit your August problems like a RuPaul bitch slap!
It’s been four months of dating this guy and I’ve finally realised he’s
not for me, but I still think he’s a fantastic guy and I don’t want to hurt his feelings. What’s the best way to break up with someone?
Hi Jonathan my diva, I know it’s hard but as a wide old woman once said (no it wasn’t RuPaul) that honesty truly is the best policy. I would always opt for somewhere that doesn’t feel too much like a date set but also isn’t the middle of Selfridges and just have a candid conversation saying how they’re incredible but the spark isn’t there enough to light the candle. Leave on a high and just make sure they know how great of a person they are and you haven’t done anything wrong.
I’m just obsessed with this boy I’ve been seeing and… I think he may be the one. There’s just one catch. He’s got a very specific fetish that I definitely don’t share. Do I go along with it in the bedroom to please him or stick to my guns?
Adam my darling, I feel your pain cos I’ve been there before. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve actually had my eyes opened to a lot of things that my younger self would have completely shunned. Obviously dependant on your comfort levels, if you wanted to once, I’d give it a go to see if it’s completely out of the question for the bedroom. But, if you’re sticking to your guns then it’s a definite conversation you need to have with the guy and express your comfort levels and where your stand with each other’s kinks. Relationships & sex are built on respect and boundaries and you should never put yourself in a place where you’re not completely comfortable.
My friends have all these August plans to take trips and several lavish nights out. I’m on a different budget which means I’ll have to miss out on most of these. How do I stay included while my rich pals are off galavanting together?
Hi Sid. firstly, I’d parade around an area of Kensington in a sexy outfit until a sugar daddy snaps you up… But if that doesn’t float your boat then you shouldn’t have to feel the pressure to keep up with your friends. We’re all in different situations financially thanks to this god-awful government and your friends should totally understand that. I’m sure there’s one friend that you can chat with one on one and express how tough you’re finding it and see if there are activities that you could do that include ALL of your budgets. If not, slide into my DM’s and you can come have a cocktail with me!
Okay, I may have been a little silly. I’ve gotten drunk and slept with a co-worker. He’s super sweet and has been super cool about it around the office BUT I’m worried he may get drunk and start telling people i.e. my boss. How should I handle the situation?
Oh Akshay, been there done that! Look, it’s 2022 and these things happen. I think sometimes the best thing is to own it and embrace it and make the joke first before everyone starts joking about it. That way, you’re in control of the narrative. If you’re worried about your boss, just make sure everyone blocks him from the group chat ok? But in all seriousness, if you want this kept on the DL to remain professional, just have a chat with them and make sure you’re both on the same page!
I’ve been casually hooking up with this guy in my neighbourhood for a while now, and it’s been great. He had a boyfriend but they were open. Since the boyfriend’s dumped him, it feels like he’s latching on to me emotionally. How do I continue the great sex but tell him I’m not looking for anything?
Sammy baby, in situations like this you have to grab the bull by the horns and just tell them where
you stand. If you’re having sex and immediately they start talking about the ex, you have to establish the boundaries of what the situation is. I once had a waiter in a restaurant sit down and start crying and talking to me about their boyfriend dumping them and all I wanted was some mayo for my chippy’s. It’s all about the right time, right place.
It’s been eight years of living in London and I love it, but every time I visit my family it feels like we have less and less in common. How do I stay close with them even though our lives are so different?
Joe my love, distance can be a bitch but we are so fortunate that were
in a technological world where you can catch up with people 4000 miles away as if they’re in the room. When I’m on tour I’m always able to FaceTime my mum even if its every couple of days to check up. I think its just about finding that one mutual starting point like for example, the final season of Stranger Things that leads onto other topics and chats. Just try your best to keep in contact and find out what’s going on in their lives, even if its just asking what they’re having for dinner… You never know, it might turn into a family group chat, swapping recipes!