Well, divas, it’s been one scorcher of a week, so I’m ready to answer more of your burning questions. Now a fully-qualified conundrum solver, you know no one is going to dish it out like this effing star. I’ve hand-selected this week’s problems – with a freshly lacquered manicure, mind you – so let’s dive right in…
I’ve been on-again-off-again seeing this older guy for around a year. He’s very hot and cold, and usually breaks things off because ‘I’m too young for him’ but always comes crawling back. What should be my game plan to get him to settle down?
In the words of Beauty and the Beast, it’s a tale as old as time. It seems that he clearly does really like you but something in his head is making him wary of commitment. To me, it appears he has got to the point where is ready to settle down and be serious. I think it would be time to have the conversation with him and tell him that age isn’t the issue and that you’re fully committed to making it serious. You can’t just be there whenever it’s convenient for him when he’s hot.
My dad is coming to visit me in a few weeks’ time which is great, but he recently came out of the closet and is keen to experience London’s gay scene. I want to be supportive but I’m terrified it’s going to get weird… thoughts?
Well, congratulations to your dad coming out of the closet – it’s never the easiest thing but incredible that they have such support in you. There are so many things that you could do. If you’re looking for fun bars and restaurants, there are plenty. You could always do a little bar hop. I’d check out what show is going on at the RVT, or there’s plenty down Old Compton Street too. Just gauge how they’re feeling and just have FUN!
I’ve been trying to own my femme side recently and, though I’ve never felt more like myself, I find that I don’t get as much attention from the guys as I used to. Should I maybe rein it in to get some more action?
My darling Abul, NEVER suppresses anything that makes you unique and special. At the moment, it may feel like the world is wanting you to conform but never rein in the things that make Abul. I’m a firm believer that everything in life happens for a reason – at the right time, the right place, and ultimately the right person will come along to celebrate the icon that is you! Don’t get put off by the rats of the world and just be FABULOUS!
Now I’m in my late forties, I feel like a shift has occurred whenever I hit the town. The bitchy side-eyes are getting more frequent and I can’t help but feel OLD, even though I love nothing more than a night out. What should I do?
Graham, Holland Park
Graham my diva, quite frankly I’d tell all the nay sayers to PISS OFF but I wouldn’t want to get into a fight in a bar… I don’t condone violence. But truly, if the venues that you go to are stopping you from enjoying your night, then maybe it’s time to do a little bar hop across the city and find a new venue that tickles your pickle. Just give it a try and, who knows, maybe it’ll be the place for you to twirl to.
I’m so exhausted of dating apps, but I know that’s the main way folks find each other these days. I’m also way too shy to approach an attractive randomer in the flesh, so I feel stuck. Is there something in between the two I could try?
Mark, Kentish Town
Hi Marky baby! Don’t stress. Surprisingly from this big old queen, out of drag, I’m actually a very shy person – especially when it came to the world of dating. I know we live in the modern technological age, and there are about 47,000 apps, but you can never beat the initial interaction of meeting someone in person. It’s just about having the confidence to go up and go get it.
I always say that eye contact is key and always start a conversation with something observational, whether it’s your surroundings or something they’re wearing so the topic is strong enough to build on. Crack a funny, flash a smile, and you’ll be off!
My partner has suddenly expressed an interest in opening things up. While I’m open to the idea since we’ve been together for donkeys, I’m scared my jealousy is going to get the best of me. How do I share my man and stay sane?
Hey Donald, my diva. The beautiful thing about an open relationship is that it’s whatever you want it to be. Sometimes it’s great, sometimes it doesn’t work. Like most things in life, it’s all about trial and error. I have lots of friends that are in open relationships and important that the boundaries you set are for BOTH of your comfort zones.
Remember, it’s for both of you. I have some friends that don’t discuss the people that they’re sleeping with and others that sign off the people their partner is going to meet. There’s no definitive decision from the jump, so work together and be honest with how you’re feeling every step of the way!
Don’t forget to catch Cheryl on Insta @cherylholequeen If you’ve got a dilemma for Cheryl please send firstname.lastname@example.org