Hey divas! My inbox is OVERFLOWING with reader dilemmas and who better to answer them than Essex’s most fabulous contribution to the world? Well, maybe a qualified therapist, of course. They’d probably only say the same thing as me anyway. Let’s hop to it!
I have a sneaking suspicion that my Mum is a lesbian, or at least bisexual. Since she split up with my Dad, she spends pretty much all her time with her close friend, Rose – they go jogging, out for meals, and even on a couple of holidays together. She’s not the type of person to talk about her private life with me and that’s fine, but how can I let her know that she has my support? I know how hard coming out can be.
Hey Martyn. Your mum is going through a big change. Divorce takes a big toll on people and they can often need support from someone external to the family to lean on. It may be that your mum is dipping her toes into the water and it’s only natural she’s not opened up yet. Just know that when she feels right, she will be there but maybe causally drop into conversations some stories about your lesbian friends when you next chat with her!
I’m in my first-ever throuple and it’s fab! There’s just one problem – the sleeping arrangement. We have two bedrooms in the flat so we typically split our time between each of the beds as three in a bed is simply impractical. However, I’ve been the one shunted out to the spare bedroom more often than not, partly because I’m quite a bit larger than the other two and quite a restless sleeper, too. I’m starting to feel a bit left out, how can I ask them to include me more without starting World War 3?
Marshall, Bethnal Green
Hey Marshall. I know it sounds ridiculous but with every relationship, there has to be compromise and if there’s no room for an Alaskan King bed then perhaps a rota to make sure everyone has equal time together! No one should be left out my diva.
Normally my friends come to me for advice, but this one has me stumped so I thought I’d pass it in your direction. Basically, my friend had this sugar-daddy-type situation for a couple of years and he was spoilt with gifts and cash. They both were enjoying it until the older guy went bankrupt (I think he was hiding his money problems for a while) and now he’s started asking my friend for some of the money back. Should he do it? What’s the etiquette?
Hi, my love. Personally, if I knew someone was struggling, I’d help in any way I could but also if the cash is gone, it’s gone. If the relationship is terminated then it’s their prerogative to either help or walk away! But I would give back what I could.
The TikTok algorithm’s got me and I LITERALLY cannot stop scrolling. You’ve got to help me get out of this loop, I’m wasting hours here!
Jane, don’t worry my diva! I find myself for hours laying there scrolling and before I know it, it’s time for dinner! My best advice is to only allow yourself time slots when you know you have time to spare. Whether it’s before you leave for work or on a short break, just know you only have a short time to scroll baby!
So the good news is my bezzie’s getting married next year and I’m the maid of honour. The bad news is we’re all skint AF. We still want to do a hag do at some point, but what could we do on the cheap that would still be fun?
Marley, my angel. Please don’t stress about money and finances – there are so many of us in the same shoes! All you need to do is make sure that your bestie has the best, campest day possible. If it was down to me, I’d get a couple of tinnies, some picnic food, and then stroll around all the London landmarks being camp divas.
I’ve started doing drag and I adore it, but no matter how much I wear heels, I can’t get used to the pain. What’s the secret?
Oh, my love. Heel pain is one of those things that doesn’t get better – you just learn to tolerate it! But there are some ways to actually help. You can try the cushions that go on the balls of the feet. I also have found if I plaster my second and third toes together it helps anchor the weight distribution in my toes. Or just simply get a chunkier heel or a platform to help support. Just work your way up to the big boys, diva!
Watch out for Cheryl and her Christmas edition next month!